


Time traveller

by DesiSkorm



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Pandemics, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23514466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesiSkorm/pseuds/DesiSkorm
Summary: Fighting titans vs. a world under quarantine. How will the Commander deal with being sent many years in the future? Did anything really  change?
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Day 18 of Quarantine**

I feel the strong desire to murder someone. If given the chance, I might not hesitate. In the desolate place my town has turned to I can probably get away with it. Such thoughts tempt my depressed soul, which earns for the rays of the sun and the long walks that were forcibly taken away from me. I let out a sigh. It makes a small journey around all corners of the quiet room, and disappears, not leaving any traces of its existence.  
\- This is torture…  
I slump back in the chair. Not even books are helping me. This one in particular is so dull, reading it annoys me to no end. Video games were a good distraction, but their usefulness came to an end, and I can’t possibly make more origami than this. My collection is huge enough as it is.  
In moments like this a person gets philosophical…or maybe it’s just me. It’s probably just me. In my head I already made peace with all the hardships that came with my previous life. As long as I could get it back soon, everything would be perfectly fine.  
Yet another boring day, or so I thought.  
\- I need some fresh air.  
I set the words free, as I stand up from the chair. I make it outside and sit on the bench in the small yard my house thankfully has. It’s way better than staying locked up 24/7, like a bird in a cage. Sometimes I wonder which is more dangerous – the virus or staying in one place for too long. I’m gonna bet on equally dangerous.  
\- Hey, you!  
My small white dog Shiroi makes it next to me. I’ve had her ever since she was a puppy. To this day I’m still not sure what her breed is, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I’d love her all the same. She jumps on the bench and curls up next to me.  
\- You lazy little furball. – I tease her with a small smile.  
There ain’t a single soul out on the street. The sun is bright and warm – a perfect weather if it weren’t for the quarantine. I close my eyes, and bask in the warm rays. The gentle wind just barely grazes my face. The peace doesn’t last long though.  
Someone’s loud cry makes me jump in my spot and my eyes fly open. I instinctively grab Shiroi and move away in time, before his weapon crashes against the wooden bench. My whole body is shaking in both panic and anger.  
\- **What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Are you out of your mind?!**  
To my surprise, the man just looks at me in confusion, whilst I study him in horror. Shiroi escapes my grasp and starts to bark at him.  
\- I don’t understand… - he mumbles the words, while looking around.  
_“Oh, really? **YOU** don’t understand?”_  
\- Umm, excuse me?  
I wave my hand to try and get his attention. When I finally manage to do so, I try to sound as calm as possible, while also calming Shiroi down.  
\- Mind telling me who you are, and what you’re doing in my house? Don’t you know about the quarantine? Why would you just go around attacking innocent people and their dogs, and… - I study his weird clothes, not to mention his weapon like thingie, which resembles a huge paper knife – what the hell are you wearing? Was there a cosplay event in town, or something?  
This time he looks even more confused. We just stare at each other for a good minute, before he finally decides to say something.  
\- I was just fighting a titan…I don’t really know what happened…  
\- A titan?  
I’m certain my expression clearly states what I think about his mental state, and it ain’t positive.  
\- Look, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen titans…or whatever you think you’ve been fighting.  
Great, now he looks helpless. I can’t deny the two obvious facts – he’s very handsome and there’s definitely something wrong with his head. I can’t help but feel somewhat worried about him.  
\- If there’s anything I can do to help… - I utter the words against my better judgement.  
Won’t be the first time I deal with a crazy man. He finally stops studying his surroundings, and focuses his attention on me.  
\- Excuse my poor manners. My name is Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps.  
Commander? One of my fetishes awakens. Oh, great, like the situation wasn’t wacky enough already. I try not to pay attention to this new development, and instead ask him about his situation.  
\- Who are these so called Survey Corps?  
\- We’re a branch of the Military. Our main purpose is to fight against Titans, who endanger the people inside the Walls.  
He answers my questions a bit more leisurely than before, which doesn’t help much, since I still have no clue what he’s talking about. The questions in my mind are more than I can remember and manage to ask.  
\- Walls? What Walls?  
\- The three giant Walls humanity is hiding behind.  
\- From the titans?  
\- Yes, that’s right.  
\- Ummm, I’m sorry to say this, but there are no such Walls in our world. – I say the words slowly, while I study his reaction.  
His look of bewilderment is back. He seems to be in deep thought.  
\- This might be a stupid question, but what year is it now?  
\- 2020. – I answer quickly.  
\- That’s…impossible…  
As silly as it might be, I am starting to understand the situation. Thus comes my next question.  
\- What year did you think it was?  
\- 845…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bored out of my mind, so I did the only "logical" thing - I started a new project. My poor other projects, waiting to be completed...


	2. Chapter 2

With my peripheral vision I notice one of our neighbors walking down the street. Oh, why does it have to be her of all people? In no time she sees us and looks at my “guest” with an expression that screams _“Who is this weirdo?”_  
\- You have to get inside…now! – I mumble through my teeth, while giving our neighbor an awkward smile and a wave for “Hello”.  
I push him inside the house and quickly close the door behind us.  
\- You’re going to get me into some serious trouble. This woman doesn’t have an “off” button. – I sigh dramatically – I’m sorry I dragged you in like this, but I hate it when people stick their nose into my business.  
\- You don’t like people?  
Oh, he’s quite perceptive! Or it’s probably just written all over my face.  
\- No, not really. That might sound weird to someone, who fights for humanity’s sake. – I laugh nervously – I still don’t believe this whole thing, by the way, but I am not trying to doubt you either. I’m only making sense of the situation to the best of my ability.  
\- I understand. – He answers calmly.  
_“Now what?”_ is the question that pops up in my head. We’re just standing awkwardly in my doorway.  
\- Umm, look, do you by any chance have an idea of how to get back to your original year?  
\- Not really.  
Another short answer in the same calm manner. It’s kind of annoying actually – how composed he can be in this messed up situation. He’s either taking me for a fool and playing a huge prank on me, or he’s actually that bad at human emotions and reading situations. To think, just a moment ago I thought he was perceptive. How foolish of me.  
\- Look, I want to help you, but I don’t know if I should. I mean, however you look at the situation, it’s weird to say the least and you are a complete stranger to me.  
\- That is quite fine. I understand.  
Is he for real?! What does he even plan to do?? He’s not asking for help, he doesn’t know how to get back and, I’m gonna guess, how he got here in the first place. Is he just randomly going to go around and ask people for help? He can’t do that! Absolutely not! Even if he wasn’t wearing his silly outfit, the moment he opens his mouth and mentions titans, it will all go crashing down.  
\- Now, look here. I’m going to make a BIG exception, but it’s only because the situation outside right now is fucked up and maybe I kinda…want to trust your words. In short, you can stay here for the time being, BUT we need to establish some ground rules.  
\- Alright, that will be fine, thank you.  
At least show some emotion, dude! This guy is doing a number on my social anxiety. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s doing it on purpose. I ruffle my hair in frustration.  
\- Come with me.  
I point to the room on the left.  
\- This is my brother’s room. He stays here when he comes home during holidays and such. You can use the room for now. You can also borrow some of his clothes. Looking at you – I study his tall body – I think you’re just about the same height, so they might fit you nicely. And, please, put those weapons and, umm, “gear” away already!  
\- Yes, I apologize.  
He proceeds to take all of the stuff off. Wow, that takes quite long. Just how many things is he wearing??  
\- Do you need help with that?  
\- No, thank you, I’m good.  
\- Alright then.  
All of this stuff looks too realistic to be cosplay. I study everything he takes off. Once my eyes land on the discarded coat and dress shirt, I quickly look up at him and a wave of embarrassment hits me. What am I still doing here anyway?!  
\- Ah! I will let you dress in peace. You’ll find clothes in the wardrobe in front of you.  
I quickly walk out of the room, trying my best not to look at him. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a naked male body, especially not one so well built. His visit will certainly take a toll on me, in more than one way.  
I sit on the bed in my own room, calculating all possible outcomes of the decision I just made. My heart skips a beat when I hear a loud ringtone. I follow the melody to discover where I left my phone. Oh, great.  
\- Hi, Mom.  
I grin like an idiot while speaking with her, a horrible habit I have, praying she doesn’t decide we need to talk for one hour straight.  
\- Yes, Mom, I’m fine. Yes, I’m wearing my mask. Of course. Yes. Yes. Sure. I know. Yes. That’s right. Yup. Oh? She did what? I see. Yeah.  
I’m so absorbed in the never ending talk, I completely forget about my new unfortunate roommate.  
\- Excuse me, this doesn’t really fit…  
I turn to face him and use all kinds of hand gestures, in an attempt to warn him to be quiet for a bit, but it’s too late.  
\- _Who is that there with you?_ \- My mother quickly asks.  
Oh, how I’m doomed.  
\- Ah, no one, mom, absolutely no one.  
\- _What do you mean no one? I heard a man’s voice!_  
My brain has ceased all function. Should I lie? I can’t tell the truth! Even if I lie, she’ll find out the truth sooner or later. I swear, in her previous life she must have been a detective. Even Sherlock Holmes could easily consider her a rival. Even so, a little white lie will be way better than my absurd situation, which I myself can’t comprehend yet.  
\- Well, a friend of mine called today. Said he needed a place to stay for a couple of days, so I told him he can crash in the house. No, no, he’s a nice guy, don’t worry. I know. I love you, too, mom. Bye.  
I let out a long sigh. Talking with your parents is always exhausting, especially if your point of view doesn’t match theirs, and that’s almost all the time.  
\- Sorry about that. Now…  
But I can’t finish the sentence and burst out laughing instead.  
\- I’m sorry….I’m sorry…. Hahhah…I guess the clothes don’t fit you after all.  
I wipe a few tears away. I never imagined my brother’s clothes would look this ridiculously small on someone. And, mind you, my brother is like a giant compared to me. So, I guess Erwin is even taller, huh? The pants are waaay too short and his chiseled stomach is sticking out from the t-shirt.  
\- Did you check the whole wardrobe? Maybe there’s something more appropriate for your physique. Come on, let’s go see.  
He follows after me obediently.  
\- What was that thing you were talking to?  
\- Oh? You mean my phone? – I answer while rummaging through the inside of the wardrobe.  
Oh, right, he supposedly came from the past.  
\- Ah, that’s a gadget we use to talk to someone who is far away.  
\- I see. Sounds interesting.  
\- Yeah, I guess so.  
\- It’s not good to lie, though.  
I pause my search.  
\- I know that, but I can’t tell the truth in this case.  
\- Are you sure I can stay here?  
I grab a random shirt, which looks big enough, and turn towards Erwin, whilst summoning a happy smile.  
\- Yes, it’s going to be alright, don’t worry. Try this one. Oh, seems like it fits!  
I clap cheerfully.  
\- It’s kind of…itchy.  
\- Huh? What do you mean? It’s a clean shirt.  
\- I’m not sure. It feels itchy at the back of my neck.  
\- Oh! You probably mean the label. They always put a ton of those, it’s annoying. Let me get the scissors and I’ll cut them off. Don’t worry, my brother won’t mind.  
I open one of the drawers in my room and take out a pair of scissors.  
\- Okay, just stay still and I’ll be done in a jiffy. There we go!  
Once his scent tickles my nose is when I realize how close I’ve actually gotten to him. My heart begins to hammer in my chest. I move away suspiciously fast.  
\- Um, how about we…get something to eat? Yeah, that’s right! It’s almost lunch time. I’ll go get dressed!  
I sprint out of the room. This man is so bad for my heart.


	3. Chapter 3

\- Come on, Erwin! I’m ready!  
I call out to him from the doorway. It occurred to me that I called him by his name for the first time since he arrived here. Well, I can’t really call him “you” or something similar like he’s a pet, for example. Even pets have their own names. While me and my brain discuss the important things in life, my roommate arrives before me and, of course, startles me. I wonder how many times that’s gonna happen from now on. I tend to have a lot of conversations with myself, like the one right now. But let’s go back to reality.   
\- Shall we go? I figured you wouldn’t want to stay by yourself here while I’m gone. Besides, it will be your first time experiencing things different from your usual way of life and I kinda wanna show you around – I ramble on endlessly.   
_“And it’s not like I trust you completely to leave you in my house.”_ I think, but I’m polite enough to keep that part to myself.   
\- I would like that.   
Here we go again with the short answers. I’m not sure if he’s usually like this, or it’s because he doesn’t know me. Sure, not everyone is a social butterfly. I, of all people, know that painfully well, since I’m the opposite. Which is exactly why I suffer in the current situation.   
\- Oh! A mask for you! Give me a second. I have a couple masks here, just in case. Try this one on for size. Does it fit?   
\- It’s a little small, but I’ll be fine. Tell me, why do we need these masks?  
\- Well, there is a pandemic going on right now. It’s caused by a virus, which is spreading unusually fast and it can even cause death in some cases, which is why we are told to wear masks to lower the possibility of getting sick, I guess, or to lower the chance of infecting someone else. Not to mention some people might even be sick and not aware of it, since the level of how much it affects you is different depending on the person and their immune system. It’s a complicated situation.  
\- I understand.   
Do you?? ‘Cause I don’t think anyone else does.   
\- Well, does it work? Do the masks make any difference?   
\- To be honest, I’m not sure. But we have to wear them anyway, so there’s nothing else to do but deal with it.   
\- I see.   
If I get a quarter for every time he claims he understands…  
\- Oook, then, let’s go. Oh, before I forget! If someone asks, since there are a ton of nosy people around, you are a good friend of mine, we haven’t seen each other in a while and you came to visit.   
\- I understand.  
\- Of course you do. – I mumble under my breath.   
As I imagined, Erwin studies all of the buildings on the way to the supermarket with utmost curiosity. I feel kind a bit proud to be the first one he can experience this with.   
_“What the hell am I thinking?”_  
Don’t tell me I’m starting to believe his crazy story? But, when you think about it rationally and realistically, all signs point towards trusting him. I see no reason for him to lie to me and his reactions seem genuine enough. If he’s an actual…how should I call it…time traveler, I guess, what does he plan to do from now on? He can’t stay with me forever. The questions are too many already, no need to pressure my brain more, for the time being at least. I over think stuff enough anyway. 

***

\- What would you like to have for lunch? – I ask as we make it through the aisles of the local supermarket.   
\- I am fine with whatever you decide. So, this is how you provide yourself with food.   
\- That’s right. Well, what do you usually eat during the day?  
\- Simple stuff like bread and potatoes.   
\- I see. Is that because of the titans?  
\- Yes, our food rations are low. We consume the minimal to be able to survive and fight.   
\- Sounds tough.   
\- Not much can be done about it. We’re used to this type of life.   
\- In that case, I will cook you a tasty meal. At least for now, you can relax and not worry about titans.   
I try to sound cheerful.   
\- That’s not possible.  
\- Are you worried for your comrades?  
\- Yes, I always think about everyone under my command.   
\- I guess so, since you’re an important figure. But, you know – I place my hand on his arm – everyone deserves to have a break once in a while.   
He looks deep in thought.   
\- Oh! I’m sorry about this!   
I quickly remove my hand.   
\- Thank you for the kind words.   
His comment catches me by surprise.   
\- You’re welcome.  
My cheeks blush slightly.   
\- Now…lunch, lunch.   
I try to shake away the sensation. There is no point in letting this man affect me so much. 

***

\- Give me some time and I’ll prepare us a light lunch.   
\- Alright.   
\- You can look around the house or something, if you wish.  
\- No, I’m good here.   
Erwin takes a seat on one of the chairs around the small dining table. The situation between us isn’t getting any less awkward, or at least it feels so in my brain. I can’t really figure anything out by his blank expression. I am starting to resemble a tv host with all these questions I’m asking. If I don’t keep my mind busy, I won’t be able to focus on cooking. It feels like his stare is burning huge holes through my body.   
\- How do you feel? I mean, your world is way different than mine.   
\- It feels foreign, but it’s not unpleasant. What are you making?  
\- Creamy vegetable soup. I’m going to use carrots, onions, potatoes and broccoli. A bit of each. I was aiming for a taste, familiar to what you usually eat, but with an added bonus. When I’m done preparing the whole dish I will also sprinkle green onions on top. Of course, cream soup isn’t quite the same without bread on the side, which is why I bought some cornbread. I personally enjoy it the best with soup. I hope you’ll like the combination as well.   
\- Sounds good.  
\- You know, I…  
\- You don’t need to constantly initiate a conversation. I just…need to think a little bit. In silence, if you don’t mind.  
\- Oh…I’m sorry…  
Feels like a sudden gust of wind went through my whole body. I continue to cook in complete silence.


	4. Chapter 4

I can’t help but glance Erwin’s way from time to time. This kind of tension doesn’t sit well with me. It’s literally tugging on my insides and I can’t, for the life of me, ignore its existence. This is exactly why I don’t deal with people, why I just can’t relax completely around someone. I am starting to seriously regret my decision. I open my mouth to say something but close it almost immediately. I can’t just let him wander off on his own. Who knows what kind of people he might stumble upon if left alone? What if they trick him or something bad happens? I feel responsible, since he appeared in my yard out of all places. Maybe it was meant to be this way. I don’t really believe in coincidence – everything happens for a reason, either good or bad. I’ll deal with my inner struggles somehow for now. My sense of duty has always been stronger than anything else. I resume the lunch preparations with much more determination.   
Once I’m finally done I serve the bowls of hot soup one by one with a side of cornbread. I place his bowl in front of him. It almost slips out of my hand though and to keep it balanced, so I don’t make a huge mess, I end up burning myself.   
\- Ouch – I let out a quiet whimper.   
That seems to pull Erwin out of his deep thoughts. He grabs my hand to look for the exact spot where I got burnt. I pull my hand away.   
\- It will be fine. I’ll put some ointment on it just in case.  
Erwin nods his head.   
\- Be more careful next time.   
\- I will be.   
I finish setting up the table and wash my hands. I sit on the chair across from him.   
\- Come on, let’s eat up.   
\- Thank you.   
I reckon his response is most likely automatic, because he doesn’t really look grateful. I give up on reading his non-existent emotions. I would probably have a more fruitful conversation with an actual robot. Instead I focus on the delicious aroma, emanating from the meal in front of me. I especially enjoy cooking and I think anyone would notice that if they hang around me enough. I love most types of soup in particular. I mean, what’s not to like? They are delicious, they warm you up, they’re good for all seasons, they can help cure a cold, not to mention the endless variety of ingredients you can use and the flavors you can achieve. When you take all of that into account, a tasty soup seems like the perfect choice for any occasion. I keep my fingers crossed Erwin will appreciate it as well. Do I care that much because it’s him? No, not really. As a matter of fact, I care about a person’s opinion in general whenever they taste my food. Their expression of delight and the spark of gratefulness in their eyes is what give me the best satisfaction. In that aspect, I guess I seem like a people pleaser, but I don’t really mind. I enjoy it and I think that’s what counts. Speaking of gratitude, I might actually receive some from an unexpected source.   
\- The food is very tasty, thank you.   
This time his words actually feel sincere and my heart swells with joy. The pink shade has invaded my cheeks once more.   
\- Y-you’re quite welcome. – I stutter a bit.   
While I do enjoy compliments like any average person, let’s be honest, I can’t really handle them all that well. I don’t know how to respond to them, to be precise. So I just sit in silence and enjoy my own soup, whilst smiling from time to time, bathing in the results of my work.   
I take a deep breath.   
_“Come on, me, have some courage!”_  
\- Do you always wear the same expression? – I pull the trigger, aiming for a kill, while the gun is still in my hands.   
Erwin takes a break from eating.  
\- What do you mean?   
The perfect opening!   
\- Well, I’m not what they would call people-friendly. To be honest, I have zero clues how to act around you when I can’t read your emotions. In short, you have a poker face going on.   
\- Poker face?  
\- Ah, well, It basically means you hide all your emotions.   
\- I see. I will try to show a bit more emotion. Will that be okay?  
\- That would be great!  
Wow, it actually worked! The strong sense of accomplishment and the happy dance going on in my head right now are probably showing all over my face, which pulls another rabbit out of the hat full of surprises. Erwin smiles - a warm, honest, completely natural smile, free of any kind of obligation or etiquette. Why would you show me this now, when I had doubts about my good judgment not too long ago? It’s hard enough to keep my wild imagination in check as it is. Please, don’t make it harder!   
\- Are you alright?  
\- What?   
\- You look very red and – Erwin places a hand on my cheek – your cheek is hot.   
My heartbeat goes perfectly nuts in record time. Completely driven by instincts, I pull away from him, before I have the time to process whether that kind of reaction would be appropriate. His expression, of course, changes. Oh, no, no, no, no, don’t go back to square one! Especially not right after we made a bit of progress! I can’t do this! I’m way too awkward! I can’t stand my own character! How do I always manage to be such an idiot?? I’m a failure as a human being!


	5. Chapter 5

\- I’ll go out for a bit.  
\- Sure.  
At least the tension lifts up for now. I look at my half-finished soup. I can’t possibly eat another bite. Erwin didn’t finish his portion either. I don’t blame him. I’ll just put it away for later, or something. From the window on my side I can clearly see him outside in the yard. Shiroi is barking at his feet. She doesn’t sound upset anymore though. She was just frightened big time upon their first meeting. Which also counts for me, obviously. I glance back at Erwin. He looks so distant – like a lonely soldier on the battlefield, mourning for his fallen comrades. I’m just a small fragment in his huge world, one I know close to nothing about. I want to know, but I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to ask. Even if he does share more of this story with me, what can I possibly do with the information? It’s not like I can help in any way or give him his life back.  
Who would want to return to such a world anyway? I mean, I do understand he is worried for his comrades, who depended on him to survive and God knows what is happening to them right now, but a place full of human eating titans? My body shivers uncomfortably from the thought alone. I wouldn’t want to be in his place and, as much as I would like to, it’s beyond my capabilities to comprehend what he’s going through. Which won’t stop me from trying, because I’m stubborn like that. My horrible social skills need a hell of a lot of practice anyway.  
Shiori stopped barking, I notice. She’s now up on the bench, sitting next to him and he’s petting her. Even she’s doing better than me. I wish I were a dog. Life would be so much easier.  
The first step is to approach him. Let’s do this! No, no, no! First I need to put the lunch away. No, no, no! What if he’s still hungry? Besides, the soup is still too hot and that ain’t good for the fridge. Back to step one!  
I tread forward for a bit before stopping once more. What if he still wants to be alone? I mean, he technically isn’t, but Shiori doesn’t count, I guess. I take a few steps back. Wait! This is my house, after all! I can go wherever I want to! Why am I acting like a guest?! No, that’s wrong. This isn’t the demeanor of a guest – it’s one of a coward.  
\- This is so annoying! – I ruffle my hair in frustration. – Leave me alone at least for five minutes, stupid brain!  
I march down the corridor, until I reach the front door. This is it! I wonder if men leaving for war have these many doubts beforehand.  
I open the door with a brave swing only to find Erwin on the other side.  
\- Oh! Are you going back inside?  
Here comes the train of stupid questions.  
\- I was looking forward to finishing my soup. I can’t get its taste out of my mind.  
Wow, this actually feels good. I’m filled to the brim with pride and satisfaction.  
\- Of course! Let’s go finish our meal!  
I move away, so he can enter and watch after him as he makes it inside the house. I’m not sure if I should join him this time.  
\- Aren’t you coming with me?  
I can’t help but smile wide.  
\- I’m coming!  
_“Shut up, brain! I’m listening to my foolish heart right now!"_

***

\- Do you like dogs? – I ask while feeding Shiori.  
\- I guess I do. I don’t really have any time to pay attention to animals. But this little girl is too beautiful to ignore.  
\- Haha, yes, that’s true. When she was a pup I just couldn’t resist her cute face. Isn’t that right sweety? – I pet her lovingly.  
\- You seem more composed when you’re around your dog.  
I stop what I’m doing and gaze at Erwin.  
\- I do?  
\- Yes, it looks like you two have a strong connection.  
\- I guess you can say that. I wasn’t always in this town, so me and Shiori were far away from each other for quite a while. I used to work in a much bigger city, but because of circumstances I’m back here, at least for now.  
\- What circumstances?  
\- Well, the pandemic for starters. My boss arranged for me to come back here and currently I complete all my tasks online.  
That’s only part of the reason, but I can’t share any more than this.  
\- You know, I just realized I haven’t introduced myself properly yet. My name is…  
\- No, I don’t want to know!  
\- Huh?  
Erwin’s reaction startled me.  
\- I apologize but I don’t think we should get acquainted more than this. At one point we will go our separate ways.  
I feel a painful sting in my chest. I don’t know whether he’s doing all of these things on purpose, but he manages to keep me in check constantly. I guess we both can’t handle the pressure of letting a new person invade the comfort of the life we’ve built up carefully from the bottom up. His words are completely true and I’m aware of that fact, but it still fazes me more than it should..  
\- Alright…I understand…  
Shiroi snuggles into me, whimpering. She has always been able to sense the shifts in my mood. She’s way more than just a dog – she’s a dear friend.  
\- Why…no…where did the titans come from? – I try to make small talk to distract myself.  
\- No one really knows. They just appeared one day and forced the small number of survivors to hide behind tall walls, in order to escape an inevitable death.  
\- How long did that last? I assume they found a way to break through the walls.  
\- Yes, an unknown to us and much bigger titan, taller than the walls, showed up. I guess you could say he was the doom of humanity.  
Erwin’s expression turns grim. Why am I making him talk about this again? Talking can usually be therapeutic, but I’m not sure where I’m trying to go with this. Probably satisfying my own curiosity. I mean, I’m allowed at least this much…right?


	6. Chapter 6

I won’t lie – the urge to hug and comfort this man, who ought to be a perfect stranger to me, has been present for a while now. His words from earlier, though, still haunt me. He doesn’t want anything more to do with me and I bet he has a good reason for that, one I might have a difficulty understanding. Still, what he won’t be able to deny, in case he tries, is his caring nature. He may try to seem distant, but inside of him sleeps the impulse to aid and take care of people. Whether that’s because of his position in military or it was there originally – there’s no way for me to know, at least currently. I can always ask, of course, but I’m afraid that’s impossible for the time being. Let’s face it – I’m too scared to ask. Socializing is hard work.   
Shiori is shifting her attention between me and Erwin. She never ceases to amaze me. People can learn so much from animals. At the very least, they are completely natural to their very core while, on the other hand, we are always brimming with excuses and doubts. Ah, I wish I were a dog. This feels like déjà-vu.   
\- You seem deep in thought whenever you’re around me.   
\- Huh? What?   
\- Or is that how you usually are?   
\- The latter, I guess. – I giggle nervously.   
\- I know it’s not easy to be around me. I used to think it was because of my Commander rank, but you’re not one of my soldiers, so I guess that’s out of the question. Unless you feel like you are.   
\- No, no, no, not at all! – My reaction sounds a bit too exaggerated, I feel – I doubt I can make a decent soldier anyway.   
\- I don’t think that’s true. Potential can be found everywhere, as long as the person is willing to put enough effort.   
\- I guess you’re right…In your case, did you have a choice?  
\- Hm?   
\- Did you choose to fight, or you were forced to?   
\- I guess I did make that choice, but, to be fair, there was another factor involved, but I’d rather not discuss it at present.   
\- That’s perfectly alright! - I promptly convince him. – I am fine with anything you decide to share. As long as I get to know you a bit more…  
 _“Did I just say that last part out loud?!”_  
\- Why?   
Erwin interrupts what was supposed to be my moment of self-punishment.   
\- Why…Hmmm, well, for starters I can’t really live under the same roof with a person I don’t really know. Another reason is probably my curiosity. You see…I’m kinda fond of…stories like yours.   
\- Stories?   
\- Weeell…  
Should I actually come clean about this? Erwin is studying my face and anticipating my next words, so I guess backing out now is out of the question.   
\- I’m not really sure how to explain it, so it might be better if I show you.   
Erwin seems a tad confused. He’ll be even more confused soon anyway.   
\- Come with me, please.   
I lead him back inside and into my room, or in other words my sanctuary. I point towards the shelves above my bed, where my humble collection resides. I take a step back and wait for his next reaction. A wave of embarrassment creeps inside of me, ready to overflow at any given moment.   
\- You see, I like collecting this stuff, because…It brings me happiness and fulfillment, I guess.   
That’s the best possible reason I can give.   
_“Please say something, before I start to regret my decision!”_  
\- So, you collect books and toys?  
\- THEY’RE NOT… - I take a pause to calm myself down – They’re not toys. They’re figurines of characters I like. They’re not meant for playing. They’re a collectible item.   
\- I see. What sort of characters? Like characters from books?  
\- Yes, yes! That’s right! But, in this case, they’re characters from anime.   
\- Anime?   
\- An animated movie.   
\- Animated movie?   
\- Ugh…Movies are, I guess, pictures put together, so they look like they’re moving.  
I’ve never in my life thought I’d have to explain what a movie is.   
\- Oh, I understand. You have a lot of interesting stuff I’ve never seen.   
Erwin extends his hand towards one of my figurines.  
\- NO! No, please don’t touch! I mean…I don’t like it when people touch my stuff without permission. These things are quite pricy…  
\- I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you.  
\- No, no, you didn’t upset me, per say…   
I wave my hands like a complete maniac. I feel like a character, straight out of a comedy anime.  
\- I’m just very particular about this stuff…I can always show you something myself, though, if you want me to.   
Erwin is actually considering the option. I suppose the unknown is always thrilling.   
\- You have quite a few male figures, I noticed.   
\- Well, of course, I’m a girl after all.   
I blush hard, for some crazy reason.   
\- Do you like them because of how they look, or…?   
\- Well, of course, there’s that, too, but I also like their personalities.   
I didn’t know talking about my collection could feel this embarrassing.   
\- They’re not real anyway, they’re fictional characters, but once you get to know their story a little better, they start to feel pretty real. – I smile a bit - I guess that sounds ridiculous.   
\- Not really. Characters in fairytales aren’t real either, but we can still sympathize with them and, besides, who doesn’t enjoy a good fairytale?   
I feel like I could cry happy tears right here, right now. Who allowed him to be this understanding and logical??   
I gulp loudly. He’s so close. If I stand on my tip toes, I could easily…  
\- Since you mentioned you enjoy stories like mine, it makes me wonder if the life of the people inside the walls would be retold by someone in the future…   
Erwin turns to face me right when I stumble and end up being caught by him. When the hell did I actually get on my tiptoes anyway?!   
\- What…are you doing? – Erwin asks, with one eyebrow raised up.   
\- Ehhh…I tripped?   
Judging by my loud heartbeat, I’m guessing my heart is regretting its life choices right now.   
_“That will teach you not to act on impulse!”_  
\- Be more careful. – Erwin lets me go after the simple warning.   
This, I believe, is the second time I hear these words from him. Makes me wonder how many more times will follow…


	7. Chapter 7

This felt like the longest day of my life. After dinner we had a bit of a conversation, which wasn’t as fruitful as one might think.   
While Erwin is taking a shower, I decided to prepare the bed in my brother’s room. I’m trying not to think about the alluring man currently naked in another part of the house. Let me emphasize the word **TRYING**.   
I glance at Erwin’s equipment, still residing on the floor next to the bed. I wonder if I should put it away. I hope it’s not too heavy. I pick up the part that resembles a container or reservoir of some sort.   
\- Oh! This is surprisingly light. I guess it would be, since it has to be attached to a person’s body.   
I glide my fingers across the shiny metal.   
\- Please, be careful with that.   
Erwin’s words, of course, have the opposite effect, since they startle me, and I nearly drop it.   
\- Ah, I’m sorry. I was just thinking I should store these somewhere, so they’re not just lying around.  
\- Leave them there. They don’t bother me. I have to be prepared in any situation.   
\- Oh, of course, I see.   
I put the container thing back, disappointed by my, yet again, stupid actions.   
\- You don’t need to worry about my things or make the bed. I can take care of it myself. You’re not my servant.   
And now I’m mad.   
\- Of course I’m not! Neither am I acting like a servant! You are a guest of my house and I am simply treating you like one! That’s all! Good night!!   
I stomp out of the room.   
_“What the hell is his problem?! I was only being polite! For fuck’s sake!”_   
I sit in front of my laptop, in hopes I would at least find a distraction good enough to chase away the negativity.   
_“Nah, that won’t work.”_  
I give up on my laptop and go to my room instead. Let’s see, there must be something to do here, something I either misplaced or left untidy, or whatever else can keep my attention occupied. No such luck. I grab a manga from one of the shelves. I’ve read this one like five times already, but it’s so good I never get bored of it. It fulfills its role, at least for now, but once I reach the end reality hits me hard once again.   
_“He probably didn’t mean it in an offensive way…BUT it still sounded rude! I’ve been trying hard whilst he…he…He has also been trying, hasn’t he? It’s not like I’m aware of what’s going on inside his head…Not like he tells me! And yet…he isn’t being insensitive on purpose, or anything. That much I can tell. I guess that’s just how he is. After all, he confirmed it himself. He told me people tend to have a hard time around him. Don’t I know that? But still…I just…I wonder what exactly drives me in this case, but some crazy instinct has surely taken over me. As though I…want to take care of him…Am I insane?!? He’s a stranger! What if he’s dangerous?! Nah, he’s not…Or is he…ARGH! This is going to drive me mad!”_  
I put the manga back in its original place and decide on a glass of wine. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I wouldn’t say “no” to a glass of good wine before bed. At the very least, it puts me to sleep quickly and that’s a blessing for a person suffering from insomnia and a tendency to have nightmares on a regular basis. The warm glass of milk betrayed me a long time ago.   
I check the time. Erwin went to bed pretty early, but I guess that’s completely normal. He must have been exhausted, both mentally and physically.   
Unlike him, I just can’t fall asleep. My mind is tired to great extent, a headache is torturing me and because of all the extra emotions my body refuses to relax. I try to watch a few anime episodes. That keeps me busy for a while, until I eventually get bored.   
\- I’m going to go crazy…Even a tiny change in my daily life bugs me and now this…I must have pissed off quite a few gods…  
I let out a sigh.  
\- Time travel, huh?   
It’s not like I’m not familiar with the subject, especially in this day and age, not to mention everything I’ve seen in the form of movies and anime. I’m also quite interested in the whole process.   
Let’s be honest – who wouldn’t want to be able to go anywhere in time? Though, in this case, it’s no fun at all when you don’t have a way back to your original time. If he made it here, it’s only logical he’d be able to return in some way or another. Although, considering it happened by accident, who would be able to figure it out, outside of someone with good knowledge on the matter?   
I google “traveling through time” and browse some of the articles online. I’m not hoping to stumble upon a miracle. Yeah, as I thought, most of the results are movie titles and the occasional Wikipedia page. Nothing out of the ordinary.   
I gulp down the rest of my wine. I’m getting a bit dizzy. Good, that means I’ll soon be able to sleep. I’ve had more than enough of this endless day. I browse through a few more web pages.   
\- _“To travel to the future, the first thing you need to do is find a way to travel at or near the speed of light in space.”_ – I read out loud – Yeah, very funny.   
\- _“What’s more is that we have no way of traveling back in time. As speed is our mechanism for traveling to the future, there is no such mechanism for traveling to the past. Moving at a negative speed is not possible.”_ Could that really be true…? No, no – I shake my head in annoyance – these are just some random online articles. I can’t trust such stuff.   
I close my laptop and decide it’s high time for sleep. It’s already midnight either way.   
I glance for a second at the closed door, leading to where Erwin is currently asleep. I wish there was a way for me to help him…Damn, I hate feeling powerless!


	8. Chapter 8

_“Oh, no!”_   
I know this sensation all too well. Precisely one second is all I need to realize the state of my body, and it ain’t good. Such mornings make me regret opening my eyes and even going to sleep altogether. I allow myself a couple of minutes to get used to the fact I’m wide awake and I will eventually have to get my ass out of bed.   
_“I wonder if Erwin is awake.”_  
Most probably, considering he fell asleep pretty early. At least I think he did.   
Okay, let’s do this! Slowly and carefully. Up I go! Gosh, I feel like a train wreck. I need coffee! Needless to say, mornings aren’t my thing. My least favourite time of day, no doubt about it. In addition with the persistent headache and the not so pleasant dream I have zero recollection of, but the feeling it brought still lingers in my mind, you can easily guess what I might be experiencing.   
_“Hmm, does Erwin drink coffee?”_  
Guess I’ll ask him while I prepare my own cup of the magical drink. I dress appropriately, since I can’t possibly walk around the house in my underwear, and enter the kitchen.   
_“Should I wake him up? I still feel a little guilty for snapping at him last night…”_  
I finish making the cup of coffee and leave the steaming hot drink on the table. I take a deep breath and walk slowly to his room.   
_“Huh? He left the door open?”_  
Maybe he doesn’t mind sleeping with the door open? He’s not me after all.   
\- E..rwin?   
I try not to be too loud, in case he’s still asleep. No answer. I take a peek inside the room…only to find it empty.  
\- What?   
I make it inside the room and turn the light on.   
\- Maybe he woke up early and needed some fresh air.   
I check the yard, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I’m starting to get worried. I inspect the whole house, but there’s no sign of him.  
\- Did he…manage to go back to his own time?   
The thought dawns on me.   
\- No, that’s not possible. If he were gone, his equipment would be missing as well.  
I go back to the room to check just in case. Yes, still there. That can only mean one thing…He went out on his own…  
\- Oh, no…Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no….Why would you do that? Damn it, Erwin!!  
I quickly grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.   
\- I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet, Erwin! – I grumble loudly. – This is exactly why I don’t deal with people! It’s troublesome! Tsk!   
I quickly put my shoes on, grab my keys and sunglasses and go outside. My eyes are way too sensitive to survive without a pair of sunglasses. Less than 10 seconds later I go back inside, because I, OF COURSE, forgot my mask. Every single time!   
I sprint out of the house, finally equipped with everything needed. A full tour around the neighboring streets later my “target” is still missing.   
_“Where the hell are you, Erwin?!"_  
I’ve never looked for a missing person before. I don’t even know where to start! Maybe I should ask around. No, I can’t draw people’s attention to Erwin. They already think I’m weird. Not like they’re entirely wrong...  
What if something actually happened to him? Now that I think about it, can he even cross the street properly? It’s not like I taught him or anything, I just gave him a brief explanation when we went out yesterday.   
_“It’s alright, he’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.”_  
A loud crash startles me. It came from the road ahead.   
_“Oh, no, no, no.”_  
I run in that direction, only to find two drivers arguing over who hit whom. Typical… I don’t see Erwin anywhere. Good. That’s good. Damn it, I’m panicking. I need to calm down!   
_“Deep breaths. In and out.”_   
A panic attack is the last thing I need right now.   
_“How far can a person, with little knowledge of the area, actually go?”_  
I should seek someone’s help! Sure…And ask them what?? Whether they’ve seen a tall blonde man with blue eyes? There are tons of those. Now that we’re all wearing masks, people rarely even pay attention to each other. I have no choice, other than to keep searching.   
Drip…Drop…  
I hesitantly look up, once my sight gets hindered by a single water drop. Oh, no…Just no…  
\- Where, the hell, are you, Erwin?! – I grumble under my black mask.   
Not long after one drop is followed by two more, and in no time it’s raining heavily. People hurry home to hide from the rain, a luxury I can’t allow myself right now, even if my body is literally screaming for it. In any other situation I would adore the thought of the rain.   
_“I can’t stop now! I refuse to stop! What if something happens to him? But…”_  
I halt to think for a bit, the rain making its way through my clothes.   
_“Normally, wouldn’t he go back once it starts raining? It’s possible he’s on his way to my house right now. Or maybe he found shelter somewhere…Argh! I’ll take my chances.”_  
I hurry back home, running down the streets.   
_“Please, be there! Please, be there!”_ – I repeat continuously in my mind. I remove a couple of hair strands, sticking annoyingly to my face. And then I see it. The happy coincidence, the cliché authors often use in their works. I blink a couple of times, just to be sure. There’s no mistake. Erwin is right there, in front of me, in all his wet glory.


	9. Chapter 9

I wanna scream from happiness. I want to scold him. Anger against relief. Which one do you think will win? I guess we’ll find out any moment now.   
\- You…What are you doing here? I’ve been looking all over for you…Why would you leave like that?! I was worried sick!   
1-0 in favor of anger.   
\- You’re soaked. Let’s get inside…  
\- Don’t you dare avoid the subject! I asked you something!   
_“Calm down.”_  
\- What if something had happened to you?!  
 _“Don’t do this.”_  
\- I looked everywhere! You could have gotten lost, or even worse! You don’t know the first thing about this world!  
 _“Stop.”_  
\- I apologize. Let’s talk inside.   
\- Don’t touch me!   
_“Why are you saying all of this? He’s a grown man. You can’t treat him like a child!”_  
 _“Then why is he behaving like one?!”_  
The voices of reason and feelings are fighting inside of me, an argument which leads nowhere and only muddles my thoughts even more.   
\- I promise I will listen to everything you say. Let’s just go inside before you get sick.   
\- I wouldn’t be in this situation, if it weren’t for you!   
I bite my bottom lip to halt the flow of words, itching to escape. I know I’ll regret them later. I have to put a stop to this. It’s about time. I take the hand Erwin has been extending my way ever since he saw me. He doesn’t let go even while I unlock the door and simply follows after me. I’ll be damned if I know what the gesture means. Perhaps I’ll revisit the memory later when my mind is more at ease.   
\- You’re right. I’m freezing. I should take a hot shower. But you’re also drenched. I’ll shower after you.   
\- I disagree. I won’t go in first, you should. I don’t wish to argue.   
I simply sigh. I don’t want to argue either.   
\- Alright. I’ll be quick.   
\- Take as much time as you need.   
How can one man be both reckless and endlessly polite? It’s infuriating.   
Damn, I really am freezing! I quickly take my clothes off, throw them in the laundry basket and proceed to take the most satisfying hot shower ever. I could easily spend at least an hour like this – basking in the pleasure of the hot drops touching my skin. Sadly, I can’t do that for at least two reasons. First of all – Erwin also needs to take a shower and second of all – my skin is already very red, ‘cause of the high water temperature, and there is a high risk I might even faint, unless I get out soon. My body feels heavy enough either way.   
\- Erwin, you can go in! – I shout from the corridor and quickly slip into my room. I put on some clean clothes and make my way to the kitchen, where my long forgotten coffee still waits for me on the table. I hate cold coffee. It needs to be so hot, that I can feel it travel all the way down my throat. That’s where the microwave comes in handy. The faint sound of the shower is relaxing to listen to. At the moment I’m not even thinking about scolding Erwin. I just want to forget the whole situation, however immature that may sound. I’ll deal with it once I finish my coffee. That would give me enough time to calm down a bit, hopefully.   
\- That hits the spot.   
The same can be said for both the coffee I’m drinking and the view that jut made its way in front of my eyes. How can he be this calm when his nether regions are the only thing covered by a small towel?   
\- You know – I barely gather the courage to speak up – Don’t you ever feel uncomfortable?   
My remark sounds a bit too rough.   
\- Uncomfortable? Why? I have no reason.   
Great, he doesn’t even consider me a woman. That’s a huge boost to my non-existent self-esteem.   
\- Never mind. Do you drink coffee?  
\- Yes, I do.   
_“Don’t stare at his chest!”_   
Another drop of water slides down the muscular frame. I gulp hard and avert my eyes.  
\- How do you drink your coffee?   
\- What do you mean?  
\- Ugh, I mean exactly what I’m asking. – I scratch my neck. – Some people prefer black coffee, others drink it with sugar and milk, and there are also those who want all kinds of different extras inside. I honestly don’t understand them.   
Erwin blinks a couple of times, before presenting me with an answer.   
\- Just plain black coffee.   
\- Alright, I’ll make you a cup. In the mean time…please, put some clothes on.   
\- Understood.   
I feel like I’ve either adopted a pet or a robot. A very sexy and very troublesome companion, that’s for sure. He needs to be more aware of his surroundings and other people’s impression of him. It does seem like he doesn’t care at all, though. Probably very few things manage to faze him. I kind of wish I was one of them.   
My competitive side makes an appearance. That would definitely be something amusing to experience. I take a mental note.   
My anger completely dissipated, didn’t it? So typical of me. My nature is forgiving, way too forgiving, to the point when I seem stupid and naïve. I detest conflicts – as simple as that. I do everything in my power to evade them, which is, honestly, both good and bad. At some point I will need to find the perfect balance between both. For now, I gotta have a serious conversation with the man, currently in front of me.


End file.
